First, let’s take a minute to look at how tiny Eli looked last fall. And how blonde his hair was. And how he makes that exact face at me still, every day.
Being a toddler isn’t all fun and games. Sometimes there are things you don’t want to do, or desperately need to do, and your mom just doesn’t get it. There are all kinds of toddler problems, your mom getting pizza when you wanted macaroni or your mom making you sleep in your bed instead of under the christmas tree. In the wise words of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, “Parents just don’t understand.”
Parents just don’t understand why you are upset over not having a side walk. I mean, you just want to take a little walk and look at all the Christmas lights. But you can’t take a little walk if you don’t have a sidewalk. It’s okay to be incredibly emotional over your parents not buying a house in a sub that has sidewalks.
Parents don’t understand the heartache when the one toy that you wanted to play with in the dollar bin at Target isn’t where you left it, way up on the top bin, hiding under the socks. So throwing yourself on the floor and refusing to leave until your mom finds the missing toy is a logical thing to do.
Parents totally don’t get that you just want to eat the brown snow. Why do they have to tell you that white snow is the only acceptable color snow to consume?
Parents just don’t understand that you need to play Sofia on the TV and then have mama’s iPhone to watch some Sofia toy unboxing videos on youTube, while the TV stays on Sofia. Not Transformers Rescuebots. Not Dancing with the Stars. It has to stay on Sofia. And speaking of the iPhone, why does your mom get so many texts and phone calls that interrupt your toy unboxing video viewing?
Parents just don’t understand that you want candy. You want candy now, for lunch, when you only ate the dinosaurs, which are basically candy, out of your dinosaur oatmeal at breakfast. Candy should be a major food group.
Parents don’t understand that you’re totally over taking pictures. Why does your mom need to document every single adorable thing you wear. Your dad gets it. Why doesn’t she?
Parents don’t get that they should only shop at stores that have gigantic shopping carts that are impossible to maneuver. Because when your mom just wants to “run in, real quick” to the market, which has a tiny cart, you and your baby sister will both refuse to sit in the cart without the other. And then when your mom is holding your baby sister, you will just want to “look at the stars” by hanging backwards off the cart. And then it’s going to tip on you. So your mom should just shop at Target and Costco, which both just happen to have a nice toy selection.
So to you, all the kids across the land, There’s no need to argue, parents just don’t understand.